May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
