Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
