so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
