We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just had sex on a roof
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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