Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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