Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
