Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
