you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
