But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
