Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
