Your dad touched me again.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
