Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
