If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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