You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
