I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's like heaven, but drunker
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
