The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize