I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
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I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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