doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
