he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
