Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
