You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
