her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
