Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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