My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
