His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
