I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
