Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize