Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
