Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
