I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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