Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
