I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
