Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
