He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
