I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
