gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
