I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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