hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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