I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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