I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
