Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
