her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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