Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
