I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
