Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
