I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
