I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
