I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
