I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.