He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.