i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
