just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You may now shotgun with the bride
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
