I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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