Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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