I hope mine doesn't look like that
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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