fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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