He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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