Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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