If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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