dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
