we have officially lost it.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
